Father´s Day
Father’s Day stands in the shadow of Mother´s Day, just like fathers often do in comparison to mothers. Moms are the known and celebrated nurturers, booboo kissers and lunch packers in children´s lives. Fathers often fulfill a more distant presence. The two roles are different in appearance but certainly not in respect to love towards their children. Part of the father´s role is being the provider, the strong shoulder to lean on, and the uncomplicated party that offers unconditional love without much fuss or soliciting hugs and kisses. It is no surprise that Father´s Day is playing out in the same version: simple, no strings attached, often forgotten or barely mentioned by children (little or grown), or their own spouses. Dads take in stride whatever version of Father´s Day is occurring and typically don´t over think the holiday.
But just because there is not much fuss does not mean fathers don´t enjoy being in the lime light for a change. Being loved and pampered for a day, or at least acknowledged and made to feel special, is a welcome reward of fatherhood. Yes, fathers don´t hold it against us if we forget or “don´t participate in the forced celebration,” but they sure would not object if we gave them a call, a card, a little present, or simply some of our time.
As the protecting and providing force of a family, fathers also need a break from their regular daily dealings, including personal doubts to struggle with, changes in health, work, and – yes – emotions. Acknowledging and celebrating dads on this special day does not diminish their “rock solid role” in the family, nor does it jeopardize their effort to provide and be there for us.
Sure, I can only write this as a woman, but this is what I observe and hear from dads. It is also what they don´t say, which is often even more important. Dads will rarely – unlike moms – play the “I am hurt” or “I am underappreciated” card.
If you have a dad, are married to a dad, make it a special day for them. It can be a no-fuss, quality time with him, simple and unassuming. Celebrate their stoic presence, and the fact that they are always generously providing for you and your loved ones. They might object at first, but just shower them a little pampering and love anyway.
And while you are at it, make it a habit and not a once a year event. Happy Father´s Day!
Author Sabine Starr is a psychologist licensed in Vienna, Austria, currently living and working in Mission Hills. She has written numerous articles for professional psychology journals. For further information, visit www.starrcoaching.com and follow her blog at www.HealthwithTaste.blogspot.com; and a new social media offering is www.facebook.com/StarrCoaching
Category: Local News
