Home Is Where the Heart Is
by Mrs. Freud
San Diego is a beautiful city with unbeatable weather. It is amazing to live here. Yet, if you are a transplant from cold weather country you might be familiar with the question from family and friends of your childhood, “Don´t you miss the seasons?!,” quickly followed by “I would miss the seasons!” The first few years of my time in Southern California I agreed with the above sentiments. I would miss the beauty of sunny days after snow fall, the radiant colors of the leaves in fall, the pure green of the new growth in spring, and the giddiness of drinking in the few perfect summer days. Focused on what I had no more because I left a country with distinct seasons, San Diego´s beauty was often lost on me. Forgotten were the long weeks of fog in late fall, the housebound weariness during icy winter days, the never ending rains in spring, the violent thunderstorms and hail on a hot summer day, which are all major parts of living with the four seasons.
“You know what, I don´t really miss the winter anymore,” is my answer today. I embrace what is in front of me today. What made the biggest difference is that I have discovered how I am at home inside myself. “Wherever I go, there I am,” is a clear motto that helps to embrace the immediate environment and the people at any given moment. Being stuck in comparisons is distracting and confining. Once we accept that we can bring our feeling of home with us wherever we go, so many things get easier, and emotionally we get more stable and happy. Making meaningful connections, finding favorite spots and places to go to for our various moods and needs as well as pleasures, is a good way to start feeling at home. Be curious about your neighbors, your neighborhood, the endless possibilities. It helps to feel connected, bonded and safe. Wherever we are, we don´t want to be isolated. We as humans are social creatures with the desire to be surrounded by others.
It is the people around us and our connecting with them, as well as being comfortable with our own company that opens up our heart and generates a sense of being at home. We will always have only one place where we are from, but we can have many different physical homes throughout the course of our lives. Wherever we are, it is important to feel at home. Even if we only spend a night at a hotel, it is worth investing a few moments to make ourselves feel at home. It could be as simple as bringing a favorite bandana and draping it over the TV when not in use.
Engage all your senses for the best results. It can also be habits, traditions; like meditating for a few minutes after arriving at a new place. With every move we learn more about what is important to us to feel at home. For some it is walls filled with family photos, for others it can be having a relaxing bath before bedtime. Whatever opens your heart and makes you feel safe and at home, make sure you have that in your life. And in terms of missing the winter, I am once again spending my January birthday in short sleeves. Now this is pure delight.
Author Sabine Starr is a psychologist licensed in Vienna, Austria, currently living and working in Mission Hills. She has written numerous articles for professional psychology journals. For further information, visit www.starrcoaching.com and follow her blog at www.HealthwithTaste.blogspot.com.
Category: Life Style
