Human TuneUp Column by Cath
Tacky
Don’t complain most of the time and expect to enjoy your life. Or others to enjoy you.
In my Human TuneUp classes, we do an experiment where I ask participants to pair up; first one, then the other, gets two minutes to complain.
I suggest they can complain about their work, people in their lives who need personality transplants, things they have no control over, or things that tick them off. It hardly takes any encouragement to get them going.
It gets wild and loud and full of energy. I have to rein them in.
Afterwards we discuss the negatives and positives
of complaining. Is it all bad? What’s good about it? What’s not?
- The downside of complaining?
It spreads around negative energy. Most of us have experienced the effect of a persistent complainer. Not fun. - People get tired of hearing it. “Oh, here she comes again. Oh, here he is again.” The urge to avoid you is triggered. I for one have ended two friendships over excessive complaining. I just couldn’t listen to it anymore. My empathy ran out.
- I’ve read this: 50 percent don’t care about your problems and quite possibly the other 50 percent are glad you have them.
The upside of complaining?
- It might cause businesses to improve their service if we complain enough.
- It gets it out of you and out into the air. It calms nerves. It releases stress.
- It makes you more real, as most humans do complain and it’s not all bad.
My overall suggestions are always these:
- Be careful of bonding over “Gee, Ain’t It Awful” (i.e., not working on solutions or shifts of mind but instead getting caught up in a vicious cycle of complaining).
- Don’t always complain to the same person. This person will tire of it and you. If you must complain, spread it around!
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Cath DeStefano, Author, Fun Workshop Leader
Book Excerpt: “Vital Signs!” for Life by Cath
http://www.humantuneup.com/books.htm
HumanTuneUp@Live.com
Category: Life Style
