Secret # 7: Giving Acknowledgement or Positive Support

| April 30, 2012 | 0 Comments

More Than Nice Talk 

Sabine Starr, Certified Life Coach

In this series of 10 stunningly simply principles that can improve life quality significantly, number seven is about giving acknowledgements and positive support. Our minds are constantly receiving loads of information from our five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch with our skin. If the incoming information is good, it is a feast for the body and mind. Other people are often the source of our delight. It can be fun being with them, because what they are wearing cheers us up, or they are serving us some great smelling and tasting food. Compared to the number of positive experiences, we hardly ever mention it to each other. What if we said it out loud and shared it when we noticed something wonderful?

It is a true gift whenever we can offer to someone else our positive experience, or something great that we notice in another person. It costs us nothing but a moment of awareness and the willingness to pass it on. It can be little things.

Don´t we all love to hear when we have chosen just the perfect colored sweater that brings out the radiant color of our eyes. When giving acknowledgements it is important to speak to the essence of what it is we notice in a good way. Make it very specific. Communicating to make our guests feel welcome can be so much more powerful and meaningful than just hearing the words “It´s good to see you.” It is important that it is authentic and believable and comes from the heart.

Besides the benefit for the person receiving positive acknowledgement and support, we will notice that our world is enhanced. When we look for the good in people, we will see it everywhere, just like if we look for the flaws in people, we will find them everywhere. This gives us the power to live surrounded by positive, rather than negative influences. It is a process for sure, but it is one well worth it. With this approach it will also get easier to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes and be able to carry on more gracefully.

There is another, very powerful aspect of giving positive acknowledgement. Whenever we struggle with someone´s personality or with our partner´s idiosyncrasies, we can pause for a moment, before we blurt out an unkind remark. Focus on the essence of that person in front of you and speak out loud an acknowledgement, however tiny it might be. This practice can do wonders. It has saved marriages, I have seen it!

Just because we struggle with an aspect of someone we love and respect does not mean we have to see our energy and spirit plummet and have to take the other down with it as well as our relationship. Little things can thus remain little things, and a moment of giving the gift of an acknowledgement can save the day. That moment is a pivotal moment, whenever it comes around, and we get to choose.

I invite you to try it on and decide for yourself. It might not come easy at the beginning or seem false and counter intuitive. Stick with little and authentic things, and you will no longer be at the mercy of minor mood spoilers. It is freedom delivered through words. More on this topic at

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Certified Life Coach