Secret # 8: Receiving Well for the Sake of a Good Balance

| June 1, 2012 | 0 Comments

Last month the topic was all about giving positive acknowledgements and the benefits we get from it. This month I have the pleasure to unveil yet another stunningly simple secret to a happy and fulfilled life. It is the other side of last month’s topic, receiving positive acknowledgements and positive feedback.

Yes, it’s that old thing. We may hear ourselves counter when someone points out how wonderful we look in a certain outfit. Truthfully, would we really wear it if we had such disdain for it? I would say, most likely not. So, what is that about?

For many of us, receiving is difficult. We are so used to being self-sufficient and independent. Maybe we have been taught not to brag, therefore we can’t gracefully accept anything positive said about ourselves. Ultimately, we miss out on feeling great about ourselves, learning about our own talents, feeling connected to others and sharing a human experience.

Anyone who gives positive acknowledgment has taken the time and effort to notice and then even mention it. This is a generous gesture. Mere good manners demand that we see any positive feedback as a gift offered. We all know that anything could be said sarcastically or with a negative connotation – such as “this was not as bad as before,” instead of “this was better than before, awesome!” Next time, remember this before you wave off a compliment like an annoying fly. Instead, pause for a moment, take it in and thank the person for the kindness. You will both part with a great mood and carry it onward into your day.

Another aspect of the importance of graciously receiving is that it also has an effect on giving. It is so much easier for us to give freely when we are able to receive. Not being willing to receive can get us into isolation, a feeling of being disconnected from others, from society. In isolation we are not feeling able to give, we feel stuck. Giving and receiving is like a dance.

The above mentioned aspects of receiving show how it is not boastful, self-absorbed and narcissistic – or whatever other judgments we might have about receiving – but rather that it’s essential for a balanced give and take, a healthy mind and soul, a connected community and caring society. It helps us to get out of a Tit-for-Tat mentality.

Also, consider that making ourselves small does not serve anyone, plus it distracts us from fulfilling our purpose in life. Next time you get a compliment, just say “thank you!” This is a great area for some self exploration, a little adventure. We don’t often think about it and don’t observe our receiving habits consciously.

We need to consider the fact that receiving positive comments can give us precious information about our own talents. What we might think of something as normal, just because it comes easy to us, may actually be a talent. Pay attention and let it sink in. If we diminish the compliment, we are not able to hear the truth behind the message.

I invite you to go about your life this month and let all the positive acknowledgements that come your way truly sink in and arrive, instead of discarding them, downplaying them or ignoring them. Notice how and in what way you feel different. You might even notice a twinkle in your eye or a bounce in your step. Learn more about receiving at

Category: Life Style

About the Author ()

Certified Life Coach