What Now? Say Wha’….?

| July 5, 2015 | 0 Comments

It’s hard enough to communicate with Millennials, even when we speak the same language. Wait: even when we think we speak the same language.

But, you’re in luck: one of us has been paying attention. In my determined effort to maintain communication in life, this column is here to help.

Try these:

“Shade.” This is the new art of the insult. “Shade” has become the non-fatal “weapon” of choice. It could be a direct insult: giving someone some “shade,” or at its mildest, a left-handed compliment. There’s also “throwing shade, “which one uses to publicly denounce and/or disrespect a person. In any case, you don’t want to be in the receiving end of shade.

If some kid with a really bad sense of humor initiates an emergency distress phone call that results in the law’s visit to some innocent “victim’s” home, the game is called “swatting.”

“The Derp.” In the N. Y. Times, Paul Krugman says, “…we live in an age of derp and cheap cynicism…”

“Derp” from “South Park” is, he said, “…is useful shorthand for people who keep saying the same thing no matter how much evidence accumulates that it’s completely wrong.”

Mr. Krugman’s need to explain the word not only made me feel better, but provided me a weapon for political debates with Derps, in which I am always right.

“Lit.” This word is an adjective used to describe a certain situation, person, place or thing as awesome/crazy. Like what “rad” might (still) mean to those of a certain age.

You could show up unexpectedly, and you’d be a “rando” guest.

“On cleek.” This simply means, “on point.” Why, I can’t begin to guess, since “on point” is…well, to the point.

Luc Sante wrote a multi-page essay on the word “random”… now used, he says, as “…a way of saying who – or what – is in or out.” Simple enough? So how does “random” merit those thousands of words? Because no matter how you understand it, it has changed its meaning many, many times since it is believed to have shown up, sometime in the 1600s. (That date is not a typo.) Suffice to say that “random” does kind’ve, sort’ve still might mean, “haphazard.” Or not.

“Gotta Give You Some Snaps, Man.” This one is how Millennials offer a compliment.

Millenniels: those strangers in their 20s may pretend that they’re in deep relationship with us, but in fact, they’ve been described as having “quirks and traits that separate them
from past generations.”

Like every generation, do we still call some pathetic “shlep” a “dweeb?” Is he/she also just “square?” Does anyone understand us?

This is serious stuff. Even Taco Bell offers a “Millennial Word of the Week,” just to make sure they understand their customers, and their staff.

(If I were not so pathetically un-hip, I would’ve used “blog” instead of “column.”)

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