Human TuneUp Column by Cath

| September 6, 2017 | 0 Comments

Cut loose the “never happy”

Have you ever had to let go of a “never happy” friend in your life? This is difficult for a lot of us. In my case, because I lived with the belief that once a friend always a friend, it was especially tough. I’ve had to end friendships twice. It was painful in both cases.

One friend was the queen of negativity, the other a queen of anger. Both had mothers who trained them well and they seemed incapable of breaking the spell.

No matter how I tried to help them see things in a more positive light, it never took. Finally, I hit a limit even I didn’t know I was capable of.

As it turns out, this is true: some friendships are not meant to last a lifetime. And it’s more than okay when they don’t.

How to end an unwanted-any-longer friendship? In essence, it takes less time to simply tell them (by phone, face-to-face or email). Another approach, which takes more time, is to avoid them (i.e., keep refusing their requests) until they figure
out you are done.

It’s not that you wish them ill, not at all. It’s just that you simply cannot or will not be around them anymore. Trust this: they will find new people who will listen to them and who will be their friends. It just won’t be you.

Walt Whitman was right: to be with those we like is enough. That means making conscious choices of just who that is.

Cath DeStefano, Author, Speaker

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