Secret # 3: A Positive Focus Has Good Things Coming Your Way
by Sabine Edlinger-Starr, Certified Life Coach
This is number three of the series of 10 secrets to a full and present life. I am talking about applying a positive focus to our life on a regular basis. The simple mechanism, of this amazingly helpful tool is that “what I focus on expands.” I have put this statement to the test for myself (like anything I write or talk about or use with my clients). Modern life is characterized by a never before experienced abundance of options, things, access to information. This multitude of choices is wonderful, but does limit the time we get to spend with any item in our days. Life is busy, and that can turn this abundance into an unhappy challenge.
We all have a habitual, a default way, how we approach our environment. When presented with a new situation, we start with seeing either the challenges or the virtues. We can never be in both places at the same time. Chances are, when we start with the worries, the flaws, the mistakes, we get caught up in them and usually don´t move on to a higher note. Our energy and productivity is down. The world might even appear to be an unsafe place. Many of us have this habitual approach. It could be a focus on problem solving, a continuation of how our parents were with acknowledgements, or simply an attitude of “Where is the hook in all of this?”
Let’s assume we adopt a habit of starting to look for the positive aspects of things first. It simply means to tune in to anything good about our moment, our situation, our environment, whatever we are thinking about. Please take note that this is not the same thing as simply thinking positive, which sometimes falls short of delivering results in challenging situations. The full picture can still be painted by moving on to the negative and challenging aspects after exhausting all the good sides of the object of our attention. Worst case scenarios can be examined, anything troublesome, all the “buts,” “ifs” and “howevers” get attention, whenever necessary.
When applying this order (virtues first, challenges second), we will often find that there is no time left for the bad stuff, or we don´t want to go there, or it does not seem all that important. Mentally we end up in a much more resourceful place than when we give in to limiting worrying, which does not serve us at all. In other words, if I habitually start with the flaws and quirks, I will experience life as a much more grim and dangerous place. That is what “what I focus on expands” means. We all have resilience in us. We can ignite it, awaken it, no matter what our history or our upbringing is. In order to have access to our resilience, creativity and resourcefulness, it is essential to keep our minds in a constructive place. We achieve that by upholding a positive focus.
It is not like having blinders on or ignoring things. It is allowing us to see chances, joys and delights, which makes us resourceful and creative. If we feel helpless, threatened, unsafe, we can´t be resourceful, and we can’t come up with helpful ideas and actions. We get more of what we expect and what we have focused on. A positive focus brings about more good things; a negative focus keeps me stuck and continues the negative experience.
I invite you to try it on until the next issue. You can read more about this and also get examples for action steps in our newly released book “Simply This,” available at Amazon for Kindle or as ebook at www.SimplyThisBook.weebly.com.
Category: Life Style
