Transformation Instead of Resolutions

| January 1, 2013 | 0 Comments

It’s another new year, and another fresh start. The first days of January have a special quality and are full of promise. Although I am a professional in habit changes and it is my passion, I am not fond of New Year´s resolutions. Too often have I seen them just ending up as empty promises and as a vehicle for self-judgment and self-loathing. Any goal that ends up in a negative feeling about ourselves has gone awry. Whereas it’s powerful and fairly simple to put together some meaningful new goals for the new year, a few things need to be considered.

The very first is to allot some time alone, and in a pleasant, safe environment that allows us to get honest and compassionate with ourselves. Gift yourself 30 minutes of dreaming big, loving big and smiling big.

Instead of thinking in terms of resolutions, which is very close to the word regulations in meaning, think in terms of “Who do I want to be?,” “What do I want my life to be like?,” and “What quality do I want to have more of in my life?.” Look for a warm feeling in your tummy or around your heart, a feeling like you used to have as a child, when magic happened and your wishes came true.

The next step is to translate that quality into action steps. If you, for example, want more family or friends in your life, the question is “What can you do?” Throughout the whole transformation process the important and powerful question is, “What is it that we can do to accomplish this?” In the above example one could be a caring family member and could be a good friend. The rest will follow, the transformation happens by itself. This process speaks to what we try to do with New Year´s resolutions, yet tend to forget.

We might think we want things or looks or money. But in the end we always want the qualities that we associate with these items. Whereas we might not always be able to afford the desired Ferrari, we can always achieve the qualities we think owning or driving a Ferrari will get us. With a little practice, we can detect desired qualities better and faster. It becomes a new lifestyle that serves us better. We won’t initiate a resolution from this day forward, instead, we will ask, “What transformation is next?”

I wish you a great start into the year. May you transform, impress and surprise yourself. For more on this topic, visit Comments are welcome:

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Certified Life Coach